God is busy...

 

A United States Marine was attending some college courses
between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and
Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who was an
avowed atheist, and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He
looked to the ceiling and flatly stated,  "GOD, if you are real then
I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15
minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.
Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am
GOD. I'm still waiting."

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got
out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him;
knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.
The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently.

The other students were shocked and stunned, and sat there
looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to.
Noticeably shaken, he looked at the Marine and asked, "What
in the world is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied, "GOD was too busy today protecting
America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid
stuff and act like an idiot. So He sent me."

The classroom erupted in cheers!

The Thief's Plan

A thief hired a room at an inn and stayed there at night. The next morning when he looked out of his window he saw the owner of the inn sitting in the courtyard. The man was wearing an expensive new coat which the thief decided would look good on himself.

Accordingly he went out and sitting beside the innkeeper, struck up a conversation with him. Presently he yawned and then to the innkeeper's astonishment, howled like a wolf.

"Why did you do that?" asked the innkeeper.

"I have no control over it," said the thief. "If I yawn three times I actually turn into a wolf. Please don't leave me. I'm frightened!"

And with that he yawned again and let out another howl. The innkeeper turned pale and got up to go but the thief caught hold of his coat and begged him to stay. Even as he pleaded, he yawned again.

The terrified innkeeper wriggled out of the coat to which the thief was tightly holding on and ran into the inn and locked himself in.

The thief calmly put on the coat and walked away.

REFLECTION

Don't believe to every tale you hear, whether it is good or bad or whether it's about someone or even about you. Every tale heard from others need not be true. In other words, gossip is like the smoke that comes from the dirty tobacco-pipes of those who diffuse it: it proves nothing but the bad taste of the smoker.

In our appetite for gossip, we tend to gobble down everything before us, only to find, too late, that it is our ideals we have consumed, and we have not been enlarged by the feasts but only diminished.

Be alert to the power of discrimination and just be like an elephant which knows to separate good water from the bad and consume only the good. Take only what is needed for your own improvement and discard the rest!

What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth.

Excellence is a drive from inside, not outside

A German once visited a temple under construction where he saw a sculptor making an idol of God. Suddenly he noticed a similar idol lying nearby. 

Surprised, he asked the sculptor, "Do you need two statues of the same idol?" 

"No," said the sculptor without looking up, "We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage." 

The gentleman examined the idol and found no apparent damage. "Where is the damage?" he asked. 

"There is a scratch on the nose of the idol." said the sculptor, still busy with his work. "Where are you going to install the idol?"

The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar twenty feet high. 

"If the idol is that far, who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?" the gentleman asked. 

The sculptor stopped his work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said, "I will know it."
 

The desire to excel is exclusive of the fact whether someone else appreciates it or not. 

"Excellence" is a drive from inside, not outside.

The Wallet

As I walked home one freezing day, I stumbled on a wallet someone had lost in the street. I picked it up and looked inside to find some identification so I could call the owner. But the wallet contained only three dollars and a crumpled letter that looked as if it had been in there for years.

The envelope was worn and the only thing that was legible on it was the return address. I started to open the letter, hoping to find some clue. Then I saw the dateline–1924. The letter had been written almost sixty years ago.

It was written in a beautiful feminine handwriting on powder blue stationery with a little flower in the left-hand corner. It was a “Dear John” letter that told the recipient, whose name appeared to be Michael, that the writer could not see him any more because her mother forbade it. Even so, she wrote that she would always love him. It was signed, Hannah.

It was a beautiful letter, but there was no way except for the name Michael, that the owner could be identified. Maybe if I called information, the operator could find a phone listing for the address on the envelope.

“Operator,” I began, “this is an unusual request. I’m trying to find the owner of a wallet that I found. Is there anyway you can tell me if there is a phone number for an address that was on an envelope in the wallet?”

She suggested I speak with her supervisor, who hesitated for a moment then said, “Well, there is a phone listing at that address, but I can’t give you the number.” She said, as a courtesy, she would call that number, explain my story and would ask them if they wanted her to connect me. I waited a few minutes and then she was back on the line. “I have a party who will speak with you.”



I asked the woman on the other end of the line if she knew anyone by the name of Hannah. She gasped, “Oh! We bought this house from a family who had a daughter named Hannah. But that was 30 years ago!”

“Would you know where that family could be located now?” I asked.

“I remember that Hannah had to place her mother in a nursing home some years ago,” the woman said. “Maybe if you got in touch with them they might be able to track down the daughter.”

She gave me the name of the nursing home and I called the number. They told me the old lady had passed away some years ago but they did have a phone number for where they thought the daughter might be living. I thanked them and phoned. The woman who answered explained that Hannah herself was now living in a nursing home.

This whole thing was stupid, I thought to myself. Why was I making such a big deal over finding the owner of a wallet that had only three dollars and a letter that was almost 60 years old?

Nevertheless, I called the nursing home in which Hannah was supposed to be living and the man who answered the phone told me, “Yes, Hannah is staying with us. ”

Even though it was already 10 p.m., I asked if I could come by to see her. “Well,” he said hesitatingly, “if you want to take a chance, she might be in the day room watching television.”

I thanked him and drove over to the nursing home. The night nurse and a guard greeted me at the door. We went up to the third floor of the large building. In the day room, the nurse introduced me to Hannah.

She was a sweet, silver-haired old timer with a warm smile and a twinkle in her eye. I told her about finding the wallet and showed her the letter. The second she saw the powder blue envelope with that little flower on the left, she took a deep breath and said, “Young man, this letter was the last contact I ever had with Michael.”

She looked away for a moment deep in thought and then said Softly, “I loved him very much. But I was only 16 at the time and my mother felt I was too young. Oh, he was so handsome. He looked like Sean Connery, the actor.”

“Yes,” she continued. “Michael Goldstein was a wonderful person. If you should find him, tell him I think of him often. And,” she hesitated for a moment, almost biting her lip, “tell him I still love him. You know,” she said smiling as tears began to well up in her eyes, “I never did marry. I guess no one ever matched up to Michael…”

I thanked Hannah and said goodbye. I took the elevator to the first floor and as I stood by the door, the guard there asked, “Was the old lady able to help you?”

I told him she had given me a lead. “At least I have a last name. But I think I’ll let it go for a while. I spent almost the whole day trying to find the owner of this wallet.”

I had taken out the wallet, which was a simple brown leather case with red lacing on the side. When the guard saw it, he said, “Hey, wait a minute! That’s Mr. Goldstein’s wallet. I’d know it anywhere with that bright red lacing. He’s always losing that wallet. I must have found it in the halls at least three times.”

“Who’s Mr. Goldstein?” I asked as my hand began to shake.

“He’s one of the old timers on the 8th floor. That’s Mike Goldstein’s wallet for sure. He must have lost it on one of his walks.” I thanked the guard and quickly ran back to the nurse’s office. I told her what the guard had said. We went back to the elevator and got on. I prayed that Mr. Goldstein would be up.

On the eighth floor, the floor nurse said, “I think he’s still in the day room. He likes to read at night. He’s a darling old man.”

We went to the only room that had any lights on and there was a man reading a book. The nurse went over to him and asked if he had lost his wallet. Mr. Goldstein looked up with surprise, put his hand in his back pocket and said, “Oh, it is missing!”

“This kind gentleman found a wallet and we wondered if it could be yours?”

I handed Mr. Goldstein the wallet and the second he saw it, he smiled with relief and said, “Yes, that’s it! It must have dropped out of my pocket this afternoon. I want to give you a reward.”

“No, thank you,” I said. “But I have to tell you something. I read the letter in the hope of finding out who owned the wallet.”

The smile on his face suddenly disappeared. “You read that letter?”

“Not only did I read it, I think I know where Hannah is.”

He suddenly grew pale. “Hannah? You know where she is? How is she? Is she still as pretty as she was? Please, please tell me,” he begged.

“She’s fine…just as pretty as when you knew her.” I said softly.

The old man smiled with anticipation and asked, “Could you tell me where she is? I want to call her tomorrow.” He grabbed my hand and said, “You know something, mister, I was so in love with that girl that when that letter came, my life literally ended. I never married. I guess I’ve always loved her.”

“Mr. Goldstein,” I said, “Come with me.”

We took the elevator down to the third floor. The hallways were darkened and only one or two little night-lights lit our way to the day room where Hannah was sitting alone watching the television. The nurse walked over to her.

“Hannah,” she said softly, pointing to Michael, who was waiting with me in the doorway. “Do you know this man?”

She adjusted her glasses, looked for a moment, but didn’t say a word.

Michael said softly, almost in a whisper, “Hannah, it’s Michael. Do you remember me?”

She gasped, “Michael! I don’t believe it! Michael! It’s you! My Michael!”

He walked slowly towards her and they embraced. The nurse and I left with tears streaming down our faces.

“See,” I said. “See how the Good Lord works! If it’s meant to be, it will be.”

About three weeks later I got a call at my office from the nursing home. “Can you break away on Sunday to attend a wedding? Michael and Hannah are going to tie the knot!”

It was a beautiful wedding with all the people at the nursing home dressed up to join in the celebration. Hannah wore a light beige dress and looked beautiful. Michael wore a dark blue suit and stood tall.

They made me their best man. The hospital gave them their own room and if you ever wanted to see a 76-year-old bride and a 79-year-old groom acting like two teenagers, you had to see this couple.

A perfect ending for a love affair that had lasted nearly 60 years.

Of friends and friendships...

I learned a lot about friendships. I lost people that were once my best friends. I lost old friendships that I thought would last beyond high school. People I once trusted ended up showing me the opposite. Although I lost those people, I also built more valuable relationships with the people who stayed. I kept the friends that really mattered. I gained stronger friendships with people who were there for me. I realized that besides family, I only have a few people I can truly rely on, but that’s okay. Having a huge group of friends isn’t that great when most can care less about you. In the end, having a few valuable friendships with people who really have your back is always worth so much more.

The Glasses

A great story of perhaps unintentional and impacting kindness…

Mother’s father worked as a carpenter. On this particular day, he was building some crates for the clothes his church was sending to some orphanage in China. On his way home, he reached into his shirt pocket to find his glasses, but they were gone. When he mentally replayed his earlier actions, he realized what happened; the glasses had slipped out of his pocket unnoticed and fallen into one of the crates, which he had nailed shut. His brand new glasses were heading for China!

The Great Depression was at it’s height and Grandpa had six children. He had spent $20 for those glasses that very morning. He was upset by the thought of having to buy another pair. “It’s not fair,” he told God as he drove home in frustration. “I’ve been very faithful in giving of my time and money to your work, and now this.”

Several months later, the director of the orphanage was on furlough in the United States. He wanted to visit all the churches that supported him in China, so he came to speak one Sunday at my grandfather’s small church in Chicago. The missionary began by thanking the people for their faithfulness in supporting the orphanage. “But most of all,” he said, “I must thank you for the glasses you sent last year. You see, the Communists had just swept through the orphanage, destroying everything, including my glasses. I was desperate. Even if I had the money, there was simply no way of replacing those glasses.

Along with not being able to see well, I experienced headaches every day, so my coworkers and I were much in prayer about this. Then your crates arrived. When my staff removed the covers, they found a pair of glasses lying on top.

The missionary paused long enough to let his words sink in. Then, still gripped with the wonder of it all, he continued: “Folks, when I tried on the glasses, it was as though they had been custom-made just for me! I want to thank you for being a part of that.”

The people listened, happy for the miraculous glasses. But the missionary surely must have confused their church with another, they thought. There were no glasses on their list of items to be sent overseas.

But sitting quietly in the back, with tears streaming down his face, an ordinary carpenter realized the Master Carpenter had used him in an extraordinary way.

Grandpa’s Bowl.

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table, but the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. “We must do something about Grandfather,” said the son. “I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.” Therefore, the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since grandfather had broken a dish too, his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in Grandfather’s direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, “What are you making?” Just as sweetly, the boy responded, “Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.” The four-year-old smiled and went back to work. The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather’s hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days, he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

Children are remarkably perceptive. Their eyes ever observe, their ears ever listen, and their minds ever process the messages they absorb. If they see us patiently, provide a happy home atmosphere for family members, they will imitate that attitude for the rest of their lives. The wise parent realizes that every day the building blocks are being laid for the child’s future. Let us be wise builders and role models.

Always remember: “What goes around, comes around!” However, “Treating others as you would treat yourself or that you would like to be treated will grant you more love than not!

The Boy Who Didn’t Want a Bible.

A young man was getting ready to graduate college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer’s showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.

As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box.

Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible. Angrily, he raised his voice at his father and said, “With all your money you give me a Bible?” and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy book.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care things. When he arrived at his father’s house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart.

He began to search his father’s important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. As he read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope taped behind the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer’s name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words…PAID IN FULL.

How many times do we miss God’s blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?

The Happiness of Making Others Happy

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour a day to drain the fluids from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed next to the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed would live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the outside world. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake, the man had said. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Lovers walked arm in arm amid flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with beautiful descriptive words.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendant to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.

He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and not even see the wall. Shes said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

The lesson: 

 There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Thinking of Retirement?

For those thinking of retirement, they should read this article "Retirees using up EPF savings within 3 years", which was carried by The Star on 10 May 2005.

Utusan Malaysia and The Star also reported that:

• Over 60% of retirees used up their EPF savings within 3 years of retiring,.
• More than half of the active contributors withdrew 40% of their savings while they were still working.
• The average savings of the contributors was about RM90,000.
• Most of them have only a monthly average of RM370 to spend until the age of 75.

Still think you are ready for retirement? Give some thought to other steady streams of income. REIT shares, rental income if you have a second property to let, interest from fixed deposits (some banks offer monthly payments and higher rates for senior citizens) or even part-time employment can supplement your income. Have you provided for medical emergency needs? Possible recessions that may affect your income?

It's good to think about these questions even as early as when you start working. It's easier to save and plan when you start early.

We make our own lunch

Two construction workers were having lunch.

As they open up their lunch boxes, Joe totally "flips out" that his lunch is a sardine sandwich and goes on about how much he hates sardine sandwiches. In turn, Bob offers to share his tuna sandwich with Joe, but Joe insists it will be okay; but he just can't stand sardine sandwiches.

Well, the next day at lunch as they open their lunch boxes, Joe again gets upset that his lunch is a sardine sandwich. He can't believe it since he hates sardine sandwiches!

Then, believe it or not, on the third day as they open up their lunch box, again there it is, a sardine sandwich.

By now Bob has had it and says to Joe "If you hate sardine sandwiches so much tell your wife to quit making them and to give you something else," at which time Joe then tells Bob, "Oh, I'm not married, I make my own lunch every day."

Uh huh, we all get the point, we all make our own lunch each day.

Success

Never Give up!

Shoes in Church

I showered and shaved............. I adjusted my tie.

I got there and sat.............. In a pew just in time.

Bowing my head in prayer......... As I closed my eyes.

I saw the shoe of the man next to me..... Touching my own. I sighed.

With plenty of room on either side...... I thought, 'Why must our soles touch?'

It bothered me, his shoe touching mine... But it didn't bother him much.

A prayer began: 'Our Father'............. I thought, 'This man with the shoes,  has no pride.

They're dusty, worn, and scratched. Even worse, there are holes on the side!'

'Thank You for blessings,' the prayer went on.

The shoe man said............... A quiet 'Amen.'

I tried to focus on the prayer....... But my thoughts were on his shoes again.

Aren't we supposed to look our best. When walking through that door?

'Well, this certainly isn't it,' I thought, Glancing toward the floor.

Then the prayer was ended........... And the songs of praise began.

The shoe man was certainly loud..... Sounding proud as he sang..

His voice lifted the rafters........ His hands were raised high.

The Lord could surely hear. The shoe man's voice from the sky.

It was time for the offering...... And what I threw in was steep.

I watched as the shoe man reached.... Into his pockets so deep.

I saw what was pulled out............ What the shoe man put in.

Then I heard a soft 'clink' . As when silver hits tin.

The sermon really bored me......... To tears, and that's no lie.

It was the same for the shoe man... For tears fell from his eyes.

At the end of the service...... As is the custom here.

We must greet new visitors, And show them all good cheer.

But I felt moved somehow............... And wanted to meet the shoe man.

So after the closing prayer......... I reached over and shook his hand.

He was old and his skin was dark..... And his hair was truly a mess.

But I thanked him for coming......... For being our guest.

He said, 'My names' Charlie............ I'm glad to meet you, my friend.'

There were tears in his eyes........ But he had a large, wide grin.

'Let me explain,' he said.......... Wiping tears from his eyes.

'I've been coming here for months.... And you're the first to say 'Hi.''

'I know that my appearance.........'Is not like all the rest.

'But I really do try...............'To always look my best.'

'I always clean and polish my shoes..'Before my very long walk.

'But by the time I get here.........'They're dirty and dusty, like chalk.'

My heart filled with pain.......... And I swallowed to hide my tears.

As he continued to apologize........ For daring to sit so near

He said, 'When I get here...........'I know I must look a sight.

'But I thought if I could touch you..'Then maybe our souls might unite.'

I was silent for a moment........... Knowing whatever was said

Would pale in comparison... I spoke from my heart, not my head.

'Oh, you've touched me,' I said......'And taught me, in part;

'That the best of any man............'Is what is found in his heart.'

The rest, I thought,.................. This shoe man will never know.

Like just how thankful I really am... That his dirty old shoe touched my soul

Quick Thinking

A man in London walked into the produce section of his local Tesco's
supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce.

The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole
heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask the manager
about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "Some old
bastard wants to buy a half a head of lettuce."

As he finished his sentence, he turned around to find that the man was
standing right behind him, so he quickly added, "and this gentleman
kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.

Later, the manager said to the boy," I was impressed with the way you
got yourself out of that situation earlier, we like people who can
think on their feet here, where are you from son?"

"New Zealand, sir," the boy replied.
"Why did you leave New Zealand ?" the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and rugby players there."

"Is that right?" replied the manager," My wife is from New Zealand !"

"Really?" replied the boy, "Who'd she play for?"

Red Indian Winter 

 

It was autumn, and the Red Indians asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was young and being a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be. 

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe it was going to be cold.

The winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.

But being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'

'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed,' the weather man responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Is it going to be a very cold winter?'

'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'It seems it is definitely going to be a very cold winter.'

The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find. Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'

'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'

'How can you be so sure?' the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, 'The Red Indians are collecting wood like crazy.'

Four Smart Alecs in MBA Exam

ONE NIGHT 4 MBA STUDENTS WERE BOOZING TILL LATE NIGHT AND DIDN'T STUDY FOR THE TEST WHICH WAS SCHEDULED FOR THE NEXT DAY.

IN THE MORNING THEY THOUGHT OF A PLAN. THEY MADE THEMSELVES LOOK AS DIRTY AND WEIRD AS THEY COULD WITH GREASE AND DIRT.

THEY THEN WENT UP TO THE DEAN AND SAID THAT THEY HAD GONE TO A WEDDING DINNER THE NIGHT BEFORE AND ON THEIR RETURN A TYRE OF THEIR CAR PUNCTURED AND THEY HAD TO PUSH THE CAR ALL THE WAY BACK. THEY PLEADED THAT THEY WERE IN NO CONDITION TO TAKE THE TEST.

THE DEAN WAS A JUST PERSON. SO HE AGREED FOR THEM TO TAKE ANOTHER TEST AFTER 3 DAYS.

THEY SAID THEY WOULD BE READY BY THAT TIME. ON THE THIRD DAY THEY APPEARED BEFORE THE DEAN. THE DEAN SAID THAT THIS TEST COULD BE DONE ONLY IF THEY AGREED TO A SPECIAL CONDITION.

ALL FOUR WERE REQUIRED TO SIT IN SEPARATE CLASSROOMS FOR THE TEST. THEY ALL  AGREED AS THEY HAD PREPARED WELL IN THE LAST THREE DAYS. THE TEST CONSISTED OF 2 QUESTIONS WITH TOTAL OF 100 MARKS.

Q.1. WRITE DOWN YOUR NAME -----------          ( 2 MARKS)

Q.2. WHICH TYRE HAD PUNCTURED? -------         (98 MARKS)!!

Fixing the problem ...

A kangaroo named Joey kept escaping from his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop really high, the zoo officials built a six-foot fence. However, Skippy was out of his enclosure the next morning, roaming around the zoo. A nine-foot fence was put up. But again Joey got out. When the fence was twenty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked Joey the kangaroo, "How much higher do you think they'll build it?" Joey replied, "They could build it half a mile high, but unless somebody locks the gate at night, I am going to keep getting out of my enclosure."

A Carpenter's House

Let me share with you a story that I use from time to time during my
motivation talks or counselling sessions. It is a story used by many
counsellors, depending on the requirements of each case. Here it goes:

An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his
employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house building business
and live a more leisurely life with his wife and to enjoy the company
of his extended family.

Of course, he would miss his paycheck but he needed to retire. They
could get by. The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and
asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The
carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was
not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior
materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career.

When the carpenter finished his work and the builder came to inspect
the house, the contractor handed the front door key to the carpenter.
"This is your house," he said, "It's my gift to you."

What a shock! What a shame! If he had only known that he was building
his own house, he would have done it all so differently. Now he had to
live in the house he had built none too well.

The Little Red Hen

Once upon a time there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered some grains of wheat. She called her neighbors and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?"

"Not I," said the cow.

"Not I," said the duck.

"Not I," said the pig.

"Not I," said the goose.

"Then I will," said the little hen, and she did. The wheat grew tall and ripened into golden grain. "Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little hen.

"Not I," said the duck.

"That's out of my classification," said the pig.

"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.

"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.

"Then I will," said the little hen, and she did.

At last, it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake the bread?" asked the little hen.

"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.

"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.

"If I'm to be the only helper, that would be discrimination," said the goose.

"It's hard work," said the pig.

"Then I will," said the little hen. She baked five loaves and held them up for her neighbors to see. They all wanted some. In fact, they demanded a share. But the little hen said, "No, I can eat the five loaves myself."

"Excess profits!" yelled the cow.

"Capitalist leech!" cried the duck.

"I demand equal rights!" shouted the goose.

The pig just grunted. Then the others hurriedly painted picket signs and marched around, shouting obscenities.

The government agent came and said to the little hen, "You must not be greedy."

"But I earned the bread," said the little hen.

"Exactly," said the agent. "That is the wonderful free enterprise system. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But, undergovernment regulations, the productive workers must divide their product with the idle."

They all lived happily ever after. But the little red hen's neighbors wondered why she never again baked bread.

A Story About Customer Service

Vanilla Ice Cream

Never underestimate your client's complaint, no matter how funny it might seem!
This is a real story that happened between a customer of General Motors and its Customer Care Executive. 

 A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors:

 "This is the second time I have written to you, and I don't blame you for not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of ice cream for dessert after dinner each night, but the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we have eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It's also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem….

 You see, every time I buy a vanilla ice cream, when I start back from the store my car won't start. If I get any other kind of ice cream my car starts just fine. I want you to know I am serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds. "What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start whenever I get any other kind?" The Pontiac President was understandably skeptical about the letter, but sent an engineer to check it out anyway.

 The latter was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well-educated man in a fine neighbourhood. He had managed to meet the man just after dinner time, so the two hopped into the car and, sure enough after they came back to the car, it wouldn't start. The engineer returned for three more nights. The first night, they got chocolate. The car started. The second night, he got strawberry. The car started. The third night, he ordered vanilla. The car failed to start.

 Now the engineer, being a logical man, refused to believe that this man's car was allergic to vanilla ice cream. He arranged, therefore, to continue his visits for as long as it took to solve the problem. And towards this end he began to take notes. He jotted down all sorts of data: time of day, types of gas uses, time to drive back and forth, etc.

 In a short time he had a clue. The man took less time to buy vanilla ice cream than any other flavour. Why? The answer was in the layout of the store. Vanilla, being the most popular flavour, was in a separate case at the front of the store for quick pickup. All the other flavours were kept in the back of the store at a different counter where it took considerably longer to check out the flavour.

 Now, the question for the engineer was why the car wouldn't start when it took less time. EUREKA! Time was now the problem – not the vanilla ice cream!!! The engineer quickly came up with the answer: "vapour lock".
 It was happening every night, but the extra time taken to get the other flavours allowed the engine to cool down sufficiently to start. When the man got vanilla, the engine was still too hot for the vapour lock to dissipate.
 Even crazy looking problems are sometimes real and all problems seem to be simple only when we find the solution, with cool thinking.